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The Confession - The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth

21 Day Fix

There is no easy way to say this.   I need to lose about 175 lbs.   That's right...its not what I currently weigh, but rather the amount of weight I have to lose.   The equivalent of another human being, not just another human being, but a man.   I have to lose the equivalent of what a healthy man weighs.   That is what I have been carrying around for almost 20 years now and to be quite honest I am tired of it.    

I don't travel.  I tell people its because my husband doesn't really like to travel (which is true), but the real truth of the matter is that I'm afraid to travel because I know that I will not fit into the seat on the plane.   I know the seatbelt won't fit around me and I will have to ask for the extender.  My biggest fear is that I will get there and they will make me buy an extra seat.  I went to Vegas 14 years ago and I was smaller then than I am now, and I just fit in the seat.  I was uncomfortable for the entire flight because I was trying to make myself smaller.   I didn't know the people on either side of me and I was trying to keep my arms and legs as close together as I could because I didn't want to spill over into their seats.  

I go to concerts and shows with my friends, but I'm finding I barely fit into my seat.  I see the looks on other people's faces when they have to sit beside me.   I'm not imagining it, its there.  I don't blame them.   Who wants to sit beside someone who is encroaching on their seat.   I always try to sit on the aisle or between my friends, but it doesn't always work out that way.   Whenever we walk from the car to the venue I am always lagging behind.  I cannot keep up.  They are walking at a normal pace for them, but I'm huffing and puffing and really working just to keep up with them....this is not right.  It's not their fault...all the blame lies with me.  I have allowed my weight to spiral out of control.  

I used to be very fit.  I played travel softball, I played on a women's touch football team that traveled to the National Championships not once but twice.  In high school I played basketball and volleyball.   I was the Captain or Co-Captain for these teams.   I won MVP awards.  I could run a for an entire basketball game and not have to be taken off the floor.  I went on to play basketball in College.  I had practices where we would do nothing but run and I loved it!!  We would practice 4-5 times a week 2 hours at a time.   Then College was over and there was no need to run all the time. 

Also my husband has been diagnosed with Type II diabetes and been placed on medication.  I feel I have dragged him down with me.   He wasn't a sweets and junk food eater until years after we got married.  Oh he used to eat the pizza and wings and drink beer, but he was never a chocolate eater, or searching for ice cream or pop or chips...that is until I always had it in the house.  He fought it for a while, but the lure of the sweet, sinful goodness was too much.   I watched his weight creep up and I felt guilty about that but at the same time strangely happy that i wasn't the only one eating these foods that I had brought into the house.   It was quite a wake up call when the doctor said to him, "You have type II diabetes and your blood sugar is so high you have to go on this medication immediately"

So changes have to be made.  I know baby steps are the best way to go.  I was looking for something to help me, a program that would get me started.   I looked into a lot of different programs, but they all seemed very expensive.  I didn't want a program where I had to eat their foods, attend meetings, or buy their vitamins and other things to make the program work.   I had to find something that would fit into my life.  Something that I could make one meal for everyone in my home.  Something that would teach me what and how to eat.   Lets face it this was going to have to last me for the rest of our lives.  I've been doing it wrong for so long that its time I start doing it right. 

I saw the commercial for the 21 Day Fix months ago.  It appealed to me for a few reasons.  It would help me with portion control because of the containers.  One of my problems is knowing how much to eat.  Another reason was the work out DVD's that came with it.   I was not going to join a gym.  Clearly I have no idea what I'm doing in the way of exercise so just possessing a gym membership wasn't going to help.  I need someone to show me what to do but I'm not willing to put out a lot of money to pay a personal trainer.  From what I understand, one of the people in the DVD's is a "modifier" they do the modified version of the exercises.  That way you are still exercising but working your way up to doing the full blown exercise.   

I know I have a long way to go.  I do not work for Beach Body or 21 Day Fix so I'm not really promoting it.  It is just what I have chosen to start with in this journey.   I will start it tomorrow and give up dates along the way.  Lets see where I am in 21 Days. 

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